League of Legends

The People You Meet on the Rift

Ping Spam in League of Legends
This person is into cooldowns

Playing with random strangers is part of what makes the League of Legends experience so rewarding. Over time most of us find a recurring cast of characters in every game. So, you might find that you’re not alone if you’re wondering what all the pings are about. People are what make online games amazing. Let us know if we missed any of the usual suspects:

  1. The Mad Pinger – Pings are often recommended as a superior means of communication because they allow humans to relay messages without having to choose their own words. This works as long as people don’t abuse the system which is never. You’ll recognize the Mad Pinger as the player who spastically weaponizes their pings to make sure you know what stupid thing you’ve done.
  2. DB CooperA summoner has disconnected! DB’s favorite part of playing League is the pre-game champion selection and set-up. The rest of the game is boring, which is why you’ll find DB chillin’ by the shop AFK.
  3. The Alt-Right Wingnut – These racists, misogynists’, and conspiracy-addled soft-brains are easy to spot. They’re usually in a race to declare themselves the most provocative idiot in the room.
    League of Legends Misogyny
    Setting the record straight
  4. The Strategist – This player can often be seen calling out complex strategies at the start of a game, obviously undeterred even knowing their teammates are a random group of strangers. The Strategist typically flips their shit when the other four players fail to execute the Reverse Peruvian 1-3-1 Weave attack strategy they hastily described just seconds earlier.
  5. Quity McQuiterson – Quity knows that the best way to start a game of League is to end it as soon as possible. Quity sees what we all fail to recognize, which is that we would be better off not playing with each other. Let’s FF at 15.
  6. 2400 Baud Maude – Maude can sometimes be confused with the Mad Pinger when she repeatedly lets you know she’s at 298ms ‘ping’ (latency). Maude wants to make sure we all know not to expect much from her while she’s on with Netzero tech support.
    League of Legends
    This player was anxious for me to meet their family.
  7. (not)Coach – Every team has at least one player with the positive intent to help out their teammates. The quality of said advice is often wildly inconsistent and is most effective when it comes in the form of a question such as, “Do you know how to play Garen?” (not)Coach knows the best way to lead is by using a blend of passive-aggressive probing questions and indecipherable feedback. “Quit CS pimping and grading the lane Teemo!”

Drop us a line and let us know if we’ve missed any characters. Any suggestions that make the cut will be added to the list and credited to you!